Відео

I asked my significant other to watch this presentation after he attempted to fondle me without permission. We had not begun kissing, hugging, etc. He became angry and defensive. He completely shut down. He cancelled a vacation we had planned together. I’ve tried to share my feelings and concern, he goes to get it.

I believe that men get grabby because they want it done to them. Men see it as a sign that they are desired and that sexual contact can be fun and playful. While I see the point of this content creator, there is middle ground to be achieved.

6:30

What if she doesn't want to meet any of your needs?

My wife is a stay at home mom. I work full time and run a side business that replaced her income. We got 10 acres of land and are renting while we build a homestead. I come home and relieve her of our one 15 month old son and she goes and takes a bath because she's overwhelmed by putting the food, dishes, and laundry into machines that do all the work for her. She even has the help of her parents who live down the road. So I take over and do half of the very easy chores for her on top of my work load of providing. I do the laundry and dishes, wash the bottles, tidy up the place, take care of our son, all while making all the money, budgeting, planning for our future, and doing my absolute daily best effort to keep our spark alive. I talk, I flirt, I try to coax her into sex, I give her affection, massage her feet at least 3 times a week, I stay in shape. I diet. I don't watch porn or masturbate. I don't look at other women. I plan our dates. I save money for our retirement. I'm constantly thinking of new ways to increase our prosperity and bliss. Because I don't just want her to be happy. I want her to be on cloud 9. The best she can do is be exhausted all the time in spite of all of the support and favorable conditions she has that countless other women would kill for. All I want in return is some attention, some desire, some reciprocation. But that's too much of a tall order for her. She can't even answer my bids for connection. Talking, flirting, being sexy, and having fun with me is just too hard. She has to "try" too much. She does reciprocate maybe 25% of the time, but that's not enough. I feel alone and unwanted in our marriage and I'm tired of the imbalance. She'd rather spend time on the screen or with her parents. I would never dream of cheating because 1) I couldn't live with myself, and 2) the woman who gave me the time of day would end up neglecting me too. Because all women change. In marriage for men - if you lose, you lose. But even if you win, you still lose.

Do you ever confront these questioners about their sin??? So many of these people are sinning against God

It certainly helped my marriage ❤

Yo, Bob. Interrupting is not an interview style.

Yo, Bob. Interrupting is not an interview style.

Yo, Bob. Interrupting is not an interview style.

What a painful experience, God is doing the healing in me.

my female cousin is a software engineer i am a actuary :P

there is women that put sex first on the list they always sound like women are clueless and blind as bats

sex

This has truly been a blessing to me. Thank you.

For his "just compensation" he left out quite a bit. Sure you can't repay, and of course you go no contact, and the betrayed will be grumpy, and stay for two years, but what else? What about reparative words and actions? What about trying to figure out why you cheated? What about leading recovery efforts? Checking in, showing empathy and remorse? Sitting with the betrayed spouse in their pain? Holding space for their anger and responding with compassion?

I am a man... And Absolute honesty is my main emotional need... I would say that it is even above sexual fulfilment...

Can you get ahold of me to talk.

Thanks for your advice!

We have lost our moral compass. Where not grounded to anything not like we used to be. We who are not perfect but have empathy still can see how lost this nation is in values and morals. Sex is nothing it's everywhere and it's like taking a breath nothing to it

3:03 True. I was Betrayed by the man who lived me. I had no idea that he was cheating with his married coworker, Maureen. You don't know how much pain it causes.

I think this has been good advice but when we get to the problem of asking someone to do something it goes into ridiculousness, IMO. For instance, while rushing around doing last minute preparations before company arrives: "I need you to take the trash out. Our guests will be here in half an hour." or "How do you feel about taking the trash out? If you do it in the next half hour it would be preferable because our guests are arriving at that time. But only do it if you feel good about it." ??? "Make sure you get some milk on the way home." or "How would you feel about buying some milk on your way home? Would it be inconvenient for you?" I'm going to try this method with my husband and daughter. They'll think I lost my mind. How about just using "please" and "thank you"?

So glad to see another young marriage that has lasted! When we got married I was 18 and my husband was 22. We just celebrated our 42nd anniversary and hope for many more. It has not been uneventful but we were determined to work out our problems so that's what we did. Our love has become deeper and stronger over the years with absolute devotion. No thought of divorce.

I've never heard such wisdom concerning relationships from any other source, often your podcast seems like you are speaking over each other, both of you have so much to share...really a blessing

There is a reason infidelity was punished by stoning. The damage it causes affects everyone in the betrayed persons life.

Love your work Dr Harley.

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Just compensation: great idea, sounds like something very healing. 1) never talk to them again 2) prevent chance encounters - expect withdrawal and moodiness for the next few months, a bit like being in a lousy mood from dieting 3) if you go into work with them, you need to resign probably or trigger affairs all over again 4) Have to be together for two years to create a successful relationship again 5) Trust is restored and marriage can recover

Being a betrayed spouse I understand how she might feel. My spouse says to be positive but sometimes I feel she’s defensive. It triggers me because I remember her arrogance when I tried to get her not to commit adultery. It’s easy to say stay positive when you’re not the victim but play the victim. It’s hard to get over the humiliation and emotional scars. It also helps when the betrayer plays more of a active role in recovery instead of avoidance.

This is basically an ancient form of a podcast. I loved it

My wife cheated on me. We have our problems, but I’m still in love with her. I’m crestfallen over this, but want to heal our marriage. She’s worth it and I’m willing to work together to restore our family.

30 wonderful years of marriage,so I thought ended in infidelity.... I agree it is so painful,I don’t know how to live without him. I don’t understand why this happened

He is correct…it was the MOST PAINFUL experience of my life! It ended 1 year ago & I’m in just as much pain as 1 yr ago…therapy, support group, etc…

So true..where to find more willards?

Why doesn’t he let his wife talk? Is he a narcissist perhaps!

May o may yeah my husband is a lieing and gaslighting Cheating person. What can I do

I went to their seminar many years ago in Orlando Florida. Their seminar was excellent. If you both people follow their program you will be successful Unfortunately for me my wife didn’t follow their guidelines and I was forced to divorce her. But it made me realize what married should be and how naive and ignorant I was when I entered it.

Thank you

👍🏽👍🏽👌🏽on point

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This I is very tough and easy project, but a life long work.

Thank you.

For many years psychology was about helping people back to their emotions around a subject as most people bury them or try to distract themselves from them. During counseling sessions these emotions would tear the relationship apart as the emotions became even more pronounced. Willard finally put an end to that with his shared exciting activity model and many supportive ideas. Even though the books are monogamy based I find the concepts excellent for bettering any modern relationship/s you find yourself in. I'm happy to hear his work is still a success forty years later.

There is no benefit whatsoever in a male getting married. Women yes cuz of divorcerape. Don't marry men there's nothing in it for you.

What a load of nonsense. Men and women don't need each other, we're both capable of living happy and fulfilling lives separately. And in today's societal climate that is the best option.

Thank you lovely Harleys.

Thank you Dr Harley and Joyce. Great information.

so how do you keep your spouse from not cheating again?

I lost my first husban in an accident was traumatic but I maried again and he had an affair this was worse no words to describe it infidelity is horrifying it's a horror story

That's tru